Last updated on June 18th, 2024 at 03:46 pm
Mama, I’ve been there. That terrifying day when you are leaving your baby for the first time is not a moment I want to relive if I am being honest. If you are feeling anxiety over leaving your baby soon, I hope you know you are not alone. Whether you are going on a business trip, a vacation, or a much-needed date night with your hubby it can be an overwhelming moment!
These emotions are not unique, in fact I’m sure if you ask any mom, they can tell you that moment of leaving their baby for the first time was so hard. It really is a double edge sword because you are trying to do something for yourself to make you a better mom, but it is a difficult step in parenting.
The good news is today I am going to walk you through everything you need to know about leaving your baby for the first time so you can walk out that door with confidence! From when the best time is to leave your baby to what tips can make the whole process easier, hopefully you will come away from today feeling so much better!
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When is it ok to leave your baby for the first time?
This can be a tricky answer because it depends on the individual situation. How soon you can leave baby for the first time really depends on if you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding (pumping or formula).
Newborns need 8 to 12 feedings a day according to the Mayo Clinic, which equals about every two to three hours on average. Now if you (the mom) are the sole method of feeding the baby this limits the time that you can be away from the newborn. And if you are exclusively breastfeeding the first month or two of baby’s life are really important when it comes to establishing your milk supply, so missing a feeding can be an issue.
If you are formula feeding or exclusively pumping, you can leave a bottle with your caregiver as long as you know that baby will take the bottle from them.
I remember the first time leaving my son was when he was about 2 months or so. My mother-in-law pretty much forced me (in a loving way of course!) to get out of the house with my husband and said she would watch the baby while he slept. So we went down the street to try the new Chick-fil-A shake I had been dying to get and rushed back home. I swear we couldn’t have been gone over an hour. I still was filled with so much anxiety and practically inhaled my food.
We weren’t gone long enough for him to need a feeding, but that is a crucial component when deciding if you are able to leave your baby with another person. Your baby may be unhappy if they refuse a bottle or are uncomfortable taking one from someone who isn’t mom, but as long as you return soon it everything will be fine.
How do you leave your baby for the first time?
Now that you have determined it is a possibility to leave your baby with a capable caregiver, how do you actually go through with it and get some time to yourself? And what can you do to be prepared to make sure everything is prepared for your baby to be comfortable and you to enjoy your time away?
Here are my top 10 tips that can help keep you mentally sane and survive leaving your baby for the first time:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
First of all it is so important to acknowledge that your feelings are completely valid! Leaving your baby for the first time can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. From overwhelming anxiety to an unexpected wave of guilt, it’s natural to feel a spectrum of conflicting feelings. However, it’s essential to recognize that these emotions are not only normal but also a testament to the amazing bond you share with your little one.
Accepting the inherent anxiety and guilt that accompany this milestone is the first step toward finding peace within yourself. Rather than suppressing these feelings, acknowledge them as a natural part of the journey into parenthood. Remember, you’re not alone in experiencing these emotions.
I found it so helpful to talk with some close friends who became moms before me. Sharing your concerns with others or even your spouse can help provide the validation and reassurance you need to step away by yourself with confidence that your baby is going to be ok for a short while without you.
2. Choosing the Right Caregiver
Deciding who watches your baby for the first time isn’t easy. I’ll let you in on a little secret: go for someone within your circle. Ideally, this should be a close family member or a dear friend. They’re the ones you’ve already got an extreme level of trust in, making them the perfect choice to leave your baby with.
While they definitely have their place in the future, it’s not the day to try out a new daycare or babysitter. You want someone whose face your baby already knows, someone who’s not just any caregiver but part of their extended circle of love and care. And also there is a level of respect for your boundaries and trust that your instructions will be followed that is so important.
There’s comfort in familiarity, not just for your baby but for you too. Trust me, having that peace of mind is everything when you’re stepping out for the first time.
3. Establishing a Routine for Baby
Babies thrive on predictability. So, if you can, try to time your departure during a familiar part of their day, like after a feeding or during their usual naptime. That way, they’re in their comfort zone, and the change won’t throw them for a loop.
The key here is consistency. Stick to the routine you’ve already been keeping with your little one and provide your caregiver with all the details to continue the routine. Even when you’re not around, keeping things steady helps them feel secure and lessens any anxiety about you being away.
It might feel a bit nerve-wracking at first, but trust me, you’ve got this. By setting the stage with a routine that your baby knows and loves, you’re making leaving them for the first time easier —for both of you!
4. Start with Short Trips
When it comes to leaving your baby for the first time, it’s totally okay to start small. Think short trips, like popping out for a quick coffee or running a brief errand.
This way, you’re not diving straight into the deep end of separation anxiety (yours or theirs!). It gives both you and your baby a chance to get used to the idea of being apart for a little while without overwhelming anyone.
Plus, short outings can be a great way to build up your confidence as a parent. You’ll see that your baby can handle a bit of time without you, and you’ll get some well-deserved moments to recharge and regroup.
5. Be Over Prepared
Okay, let’s talk about being overprepared—because honestly, when it comes to leaving your baby for the first time, there’s no such thing as being too prepared!
My personal plan whenever I pack my diaper bag is to have double of what I think my baby could need. So double the number of diapers, wipes, bottles and pumped milk, extra pair (or two) of clothes, etc. And then leave detailed instructions that include where you are going and how to get in contact with you. (Though as your preferred caregiver I am guessing they already have this information).
I promise you will come back to a still full diaper bag that looks almost untouched, but I promise being overprepared will make you feel so much better.
Sure, you might feel like you’re going a bit overboard with the preparations, but trust me, it’s worth it. Because when you’re off enjoying some much-needed me-time (or tackling that never-ending to-do list), you’ll know that your baby is in good hands and that you’ve set yourself up for success.
6. Start While They Are Young
Starting the process of leaving your baby while they’re still young can work wonders in the long run. It’s all about planting the seeds of independence early on.
When your baby is still in the early stages, they’re more adaptable and open to new experiences. By introducing short separations from a young age, you’re helping them gradually become accustomed to being away from you.
Plus, starting early gives you the opportunity to build trust with your baby and with whoever is caring for them. As they grow, they’ll learn that even when you’re not physically present, you’re still there for them, which can strengthen your bond in the long term.
Of course, every baby is different, so it’s essential to gauge their readiness and proceed at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. But don’t underestimate the power of starting early—it’s a small investment that can pay off big time down the road.
7. Maintain Appropriate Communication
No need to glue yourself to your phone, worrying over every little sound. Give your caregiver concise, clear directions about your baby’s routine, and leave it at that. Make sure they know you’re just a call away if needed.
Remember, it’s healthy to check in, but don’t let it overwhelm you. The entire point of you leaving your baby for the first time is to give yourself a chance to recharge and do some things for yourself without your baby. Constantly checking your phone for updates or pictures really defeats the purpose!
8. Prioritize Self-Care
Here’s the deal: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. When you prioritize your own well-being, you’re better equipped to handle the challenges and emotions that come with parenthood, including those moments when you have to step away from your little one.
Think of it like this: when you’re running on empty, it’s harder to be present and fully engaged with your baby. But when you’ve taken the time to recharge your batteries—whether it’s through a quick trip to get yourself your favorite drink, a quick workout, or a catch-up session with a friend—you come back refreshed and ready to tackle whatever comes your way.
So, as you prepare for leaving your baby for the first time, remember to prioritize self-care. That means when you plan this outing make sure there is something in it for you! Taking care of yourself isn’t just beneficial for you—it’s also a gift to your baby, ensuring that you’re the best version of yourself that you can be for your baby.
9. Manage Your Expectations
If I am being completely honest, my first time away from my baby was anything from perfect. I was an emotional wreck the entire time, I rushed my husband through what could have been an enjoyable date night, and showed up to a baby dressed in only a diaper because he had a blowout and I forgot extra clothes.
And while it wasn’t perfect, it still was a necessary thing for me to step away and realize my baby was just fine. He was bathed, tummy full, and sleeping snuggled by his grandma who loves him. What more could I really have asked for?
So go in with the understanding that not everything will be perfect, no matter how much you plan in advance, and that’s ok. Just plan and prepare the best you can and try to enjoy your time away. And hey if everything goes smoothly? Well, consider it a bonus. But even if it doesn’t, remember that you’re doing a great job navigating this new chapter of parenthood—one step at a time.
10. Enjoy the Reunion
Stepping back through the door after leaving your baby for the first time is a moment filled with a whirlwind of emotions. There’s that initial pang of separation anxiety, the nervous excitement of stepping out solo, and the anticipation of what awaits upon your return. But oh, the joy of coming home! It’s like a warm embrace for the soul.
That moment when you open the door and see that sweet face light up is a moment of pure magic, trust me. Those tiny arms wrapping around you, the infectious giggles, and the radiant smiles—they’re all reminders of the incredible bond you share.
Sure, leaving your baby for the first time may have been nerve-wracking, but the sweetness of the reunion makes it all worth it.
Leaving your baby for the first time is a big deal full of a lot of anxiety and fear. But you know what? You’ve got this.
Remember, it’s okay to feel all those mixed emotions—fear, excitement, you name it. And when you do take that step out the door, trust me, it’s not easy. But it’s also a chance for growth, for both you and your baby.
And when you come back home? Oh, the joy of that reunion—it’s priceless. Soak it all in, my friend. Cherish those moments, because they’re what make this journey of parenthood so incredibly special.
So, as you navigate the highs and lows of leaving your baby for the first time, just know that I’m here rooting for you every step of the way. You’ve got this. And remember, you’re never alone in this adventure called motherhood.
